This is a picture of a fellow I feared running into every time i was in dark beach water. Even in lake water where I couldn't see below the surface, I was sure there was something slimy that was going to attack me (could have been related to seeing my friends covered with leeches after diving into a lake on a church camping trip - definitely nightmare material).
So, why didn't I think about happy, jumping dolphins instead of sharks? Fear. Sharks will eat me. Dolphins just jump, play, and swim away.
By now you may be wondering what "E" word has to do with either of these swimming images. Both were images I read about in "Conspiracy of Kindness: A Unique Approach to Sharing the Love of Jesus" by Steve Sjogren. Being a part of a church brings the opportunity of developing relationships, if you take the time to get to know the people sitting around you. The challenge in developing relationships in church is that I didn't anticipate "sharks". I thought the church was a place where people went to share the love of Jesus and tell nice stories. To be fair to the author, he is describing the "emotionally edgy" word - evangelism. "Sharing the gospel", the "Good News", is something that seems to me a topic that would bring joy, peace, and happiness. Instead, I ran into people wanting something from me that I wasn't sure I was ready to give because I didn't understand why I was being asked to give it. I wanted a relationship with a loving God. Many times I ran into angry, hurting, needy people. And I stayed, because I felt God might be able to use me to show God's love to others.
At the church there was information about a good place called "heaven" and a bad place called "hell", and I definitely preferred the former to the latter. There were rules to follow and actions to be performed to become a part of the group. My parents told me it was a good place to make friends who were good people. They even drove me, my brother, and my sister to the church every Sunday. They didn't just drop us off, they actually got out of the car with us, went inside, listened, and participated.
I made friends and heard nice stories, but eventually (another "e" word), this place of love and nice stories started to fall apart. Some people got upset about something (nobody told me what it was) and soon the preacher was gone and people left - to start another church. This process happened more than once in my early church years. I hear it continues in churches today.
I have survived my church experiences because I still believe the church is a good place where there are good people with good intentions. I still believe in a good God. However, the word "church" indicates a gathering of people. Wherever people gather, for whatever reason, there is a possibility of pain. Experiencing that pain and focusing on the hurt can create division, or it can just be a diversion, a diversion that God uses to help me grow in my relationship with God.
I intend to use this blog to write about my experiences with people in the church over the years that challenged me. Some challenged me to grow. Some challenged me to go. I would like to hear from you if that would encourage you to grow closer to God. There are many stories to share. Just like the Bible, some are good, and some are scary. The "good" book is the backbone of many good places with many good people.
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